i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
