dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
