I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Slut skills are useful in every country.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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