Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
