I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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