I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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