I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
