the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
