She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
