Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize