She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
