I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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