sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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