Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
