Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
