Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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