see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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