We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in