Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!