Texts From Last Night

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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them

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  (704): i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them http://tfl.nu/p2ze
  Replies (2) Good night (612) Bad night (2062)
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  (530): View more from California

  I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS

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  (530): I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS http://tfl.nu/jjgj
  Replies (36) Good night (5014) Bad night (1428)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.

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  (972): I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success. http://tfl.nu/i1ko
  Replies (6) Good night (3066) Bad night (1020)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night

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  (410): that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night http://tfl.nu/xnkt
  Replies (4) Good night (1359) Bad night (771)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.

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  (512): Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids. http://tfl.nu/hflo
  Replies (20) Good night (4191) Bad night (1140)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.

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  (704): My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search. http://tfl.nu/gxvg
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (2024)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.

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  (305): If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals. http://tfl.nu/sngt
  Replies (4) Good night (1181) Bad night (654)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.

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  (330): I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date. http://tfl.nu/3kpf
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (423)
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  (310): View more from California

  I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle

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  (310): I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle http://tfl.nu/8b8w
  Replies (6) Good night (1278) Bad night (515)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday

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  (616): She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday http://tfl.nu/c1kw
  Replies (5) Good night (1158) Bad night (513)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.

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  (724): I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas. http://tfl.nu/a06u
  Replies (8) Good night (700) Bad night (751)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.

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  (912): It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time. http://tfl.nu/lxl4
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (320)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job

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  (778): I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job http://tfl.nu/qp1e
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (221)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...

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  (208): At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog... http://tfl.nu/j2fw
  Replies (4) Good night (255) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.

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  (209): Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment. http://tfl.nu/2qw0
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (182)

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