matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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