i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
