i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
