I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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