Don't you send me to vm
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
