jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is wine microwaveable?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
