Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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