you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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