Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
