I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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