Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
