maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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