you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
