Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
