What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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