I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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