A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
