me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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