There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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