You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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