Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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