I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Buhtt sex?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
