if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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