I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Man, jail baloney is awful.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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