I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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