are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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