Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
