i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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