Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
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He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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