When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
