Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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