i think i have two assholes
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
