Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
