i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
