There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
