woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
