Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
i think my cat just said my name.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
