Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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