she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
