Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
4 words: hood of his car
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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